those times you’re accidently prejudice

I had a classic one of these today while in the car with the kids nan.

we were discussing teaching within schools and she proclaimed.

“Mr *** is a great teacher, I mean hes gay, but, hes a great teacher”


is it surprising that gay people make good teachers?

are they not meant too?

was the “but” necessary?

id of been happy enough to know he was a great teacher, I highly doubt his sexual preferences will pop up in any tests.

just last week I had another classic from one we shall call Bitchy Accidental Racist.

when describing her boyfriends mum she used the words.

“obviously hes mixed race, but his mum is black like REALLY black”


as opposed too?….

tepidly black?

apathetically black?


you’d never hear someone use the words,

shes white, I mean REALLY WHITE.


don’t get this post wrong, I hate how far political correctness is shoved up our arses, I have a (really black) friend who uses racial slur on himself.

just as I have a friend (but hes gay) of whom I tell is camp ALL the time.


I just find it amusing that in trying to be nice people can sound like complete twats about it.

especially the kids nan, and shes ginger, I mean REALLY ginger.



I’m like jesus..

with the whole rising from the metaphorical death part, not the being a fictional character part. (ooooooooo.)


its been MONTHS since I blogged, one of you, yes you, crappy bastards decided it would be nice to send me abusive messages, that echoed with my lack of enthusiasm for cunts meant I just put the laptop down for a bit.

i’ve given you enough time to calm the fuck down, i’m a horrible parent/person I get it.

but, I make a mean banana bread, so, fuck you.




seriously, opinions only matter when you’re not being an arse.

so email me that one day a year that happens.

I hope you’re over it.

ill see you bastards tomorrow, when we’ll all have a nice cup of tea and a catch up.


peace >_< (^)


diet day 6

I would actually eat your face right now.

your whole face.

im a person who’s diet used to consist of 20 units of alcohol per day and then went to whatever I baked in the morning/afternoon, probably averaging 2000 calories a day (after giving up smoking/drinking) so to say im not used to limiting my intake is an understatement.

my morning cake for breakfast, is now a shake.

my lunchtime greasy pizza is now a shake

and my lamb and veg dinner, is now soup and possibly a bread roll depending on the calorie intake.

my body HATES me.

I found myself looking up the calorie content of ALL chocolate bars yesterday, because I like to be fucking depressed!

its not like im typically “fat” I weighed 137lbs at the beginning of this, six days later im down to 134 lbs.

ideally I want to get down to 115.

I used to stray around 100.

you know what I hate… lbs….im British. I like stone.

134 lbs, sounds like im a fucking ogre.

oh well, ill carry on because one day I WILL get into all the clothes I buy without looking like im about to give birth, or did so yesterday.

fuck you mummy tummy.

fuuuuuccccckkkkkk yyyoooooouuuuu!


or you know.

2 slim fast shakes,

and a bowel of soup.


im writing this while tucking into the most disgustingly grey mulchy looking bowl of dog slo I have ever seen. lease observe for yourself:


fecking horrid right?

this is day three of the shakes and soup diet, no snacks.

if your dieting, why the toss are you still eating the “allowed” 3 snacks a day.

they are allowed, NOT needed, don’t be a dick and eat 3 200 calorie snacks and then wonder why you’re arse is still fat.

just because your drinking the shakes like their some magical fucking cure for your laziness.

ill tell you why they “allow” you to have 3 snacks.

so it takes longer for you to loose weight and you’ll SPEND MORE money on their products!

anyway, im not enjoying my diet as you might have guessed, but until these last few dress sizes take the hint ill stock up on vomit in a can.

that’s no alcohol

no cigarettes

no sugar

no gluten

and now no food

im thinking of cutting out oxygen next, least I wont have to worry about my calorie intake.

my week 02/06

Its been the week where by the end of it you look like this..



yeah you’ve all been there.

its a dark glasses kind of day, hide from the public view in fear of being chased out of town by torch wielding maniacs.

not that I would blame them.

The smalls awoke yesterday morning and decided the world hated them and they would develop teenage angst a few years early. *sigh*

I must admit im happy to wait for Face to become a teenager, fuck autism and hormones. not my idea of fun.

at least Fry has overcome his tummy bug, my washing machine really appreciates the break from shit covered sheets, my autistic nose is settling back into life with air fresheners in every room. smells drive me CRAZY. so does noise, how I live here I will never know.

anyway in air of his recovery we decided to give him a birthday present early, because it was the weather for it and well, let be honest that doesn’t happen much.


hes still looking a bit peaky poor chap.

my week has been taken up playing black ops with the youngest sister-in-law and BigDaddy. not one for online multiplayers usually as I take much distaste to how other people play the game, but CODs lack of having to work as a team makes this bearable, if your stuck with tosspots for teammates. bar jumpers, snipers, and jumping fucking snipers (get your own game mode) these bastards are annoying me…



plus BigDaddy got me some awesome cool bright pink skins for my rocket launcher (and they say romance is dead)

and for once I got the final kill cam, was anyone online to see it, were they fuck. oh well maybe next time.

got some birthdays coming up.

mothers is tomorrow, and then Tuesday Fry is a whole 1!

but more importantly, today is the last day of half term.

fuck yeah.


Phone Elves.

im a girl of little friends.
I made a decision to stop drinking and going out and in the process I lost the majority of my friends.

shortly afterwards I found the internet, now im one of those people who blogs and tweets rather than partys and socialises.

you may call me boring (many do) but there are advantages to opening my life to phone elves.

1. you guys don’t make an almighty mess in my house and then fuck off leaving me to clean it all up. just because my house is clean doesn’t mean I enjoy doing it.

2. when you start to bore me I can close an app. this does not work with real people and closing doors. they don’t take to it too kindly.

3. I don’t have to get dressed in order to have a civil conversation.

4. I can recite a monologue while gorging on a double decker, and you’re none the wiser.

5. as your all the other end of a PC I like to imagine you all have alter egos, Irish cross dressers called mindy on a Tuesday? you know who you are.

6. I can be who I am. that’s odd isn’t it, most people pretend on the internet, I pretend in real life, pretend to be interested in what your saying, pretend to be normal.

7. theres always someone there for you at 4am, because that’s when your English friends are tucked up in bed, but your USA friends are out to play ;~)

8. I socialise all day every day with my “phone friends” and the OH cant complain because in not actually out.

9. im over opinionated, bitchy and outspoken, its nice to know someone always wants to know what I have to say, ive been saying that for years now.

I wouldn’t trade you virtu-buddies in for anyone.

ya’ll right you boring feckers.

My Week 19/05

long, tedious, dirty, awkward.

these are just some of the words id use to describe my week.


you’ve all herd enough of that for now, so im focusing on the good parts of it 🙂

I discovered Mocha Frappachinos at McDonalds….like omg….heaven….drools.

I did my part for protected species by rescuing this little fellow 🙂

hello Mr slowworm!


I love slow worms. I love pretending to small children they are poisonous snakes and watching them run away at speed when I pick them up 😀

the lovely Miss Toes found a friend on our day out!


which proceeded to smack my in the face with its arse all the way home!


when did it cost you £5 to buy a goddam balloon??? no one can say im not doing my bit to help the economy. on our day trip we also found a “cat mat” for Face, he loves it!

Im relaxing with you my bloggy friends while 2 strapping (fat) young lads dig up the end of my garden and then lay 2 tons of plum slate.

“im sorry are you thirsty? ill make teas when I get up”

the slate arrived half hour early yesterday morning, I detest that more than something getting here late. people seam to think theve done you a favour when actually I order it for that time because I have fucking stuff to do, not because I thought you needed a break.

anyway, its not been the best of weeks so ill leave you with that pathetic snippet of “good tings” and bid you farewell. to see you for a better week (I hope) tomorrow.