A Letter Of Reccomendation (happy birthday mommy!)

dear sir/madam

 

Having been in receipt of mothering by the candidate for some 26 years now I feel im the best person to give a reference should she need to move on, I wouldn’t blame her, one, as siblings, are a pain in the proverbial arse.

she has vast experience in dealing with the somewhat special needs, 7 years of of working closely with autism, tantrums, violent outbursts, pica, anti-social behaviour, lack of verbal communication and intolerance of change. and that’s just my father.

she has extraordinary coping skills with the demands of the job, I was once brought a chicken salad sandwich at some 9pm because I just had to have one,

she is frequently re inventing herself to keep up with the ever changing economy we live in (at least that’s what we tell dads credit card people)

she is fluent in many languages, teenager, autism, drunk, hung-over, Asperger’s, and occasionally English, although has very little use for it.

she is adapt to Handel a crisis efficiently and productively, one Christmas we ran out of cheese scones….as a unit we panicked, there was looting in the streets and some considered it the beginning of the first family civil war but alas, the situation was efficiently diffused by the making of more scones…genius.

she is not above manual task’s, although all coffee made will be unable to drink for at least 15 minutes, for she has mastered boiling water at 1000 degrees before adding milk.

she is fantastic with finances and accounts, so good at handling money, you will in fact never have to see it again!

she has spectacular party planning capabilities, in fact everyone who has ever been to one has raved about how much they enjoyed it, or so the empty bottle of dissarano shouted at me from the kitchen last week.

in lue of all I have told you above I suggest you do not offer her the position of mother, because id be lost without her and her ginger loving-shoe obsessing-purple jumper wearing- sideboard dancing- ways.

happy birthday mommy!

we loves you ❤

 

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