Another Grandad..

Saturday, I have to meet up with Toes’ granddad.

as usual, because its me, im apprehensions, full of resentment, and openly judgemental about the whole meeting. allow me to explain.

Toes has a different father from the Boys.

he was my good friend.

and when she was 9 months old, he was taken from us, while on a holiday in the states. a holiday he goes on every year to see his father (said granddad, moved to states when he was 10 ish, left him and his brother, never really gave a toss, I don’t know why they did every year) he went for 2 weeks, one, as usual to go on a bit of a trip with friends, and one to spend with family.

he never made it to his fathers house.

during a stop off at a certain bar in Amarillo, Texas. there was a robbery, in the process he was shot, and died at the hospital later that evening. subsequently the man was arrested some 19 hours later, and is now serving 3 consecutive life sentences in prison, he will never see his daughter grow up. it seams fitting doesn’t it?

anyway I digress,

I saw his father briefly a few weeks later, I would like to say it was at the wake, I couldn’t be 100% sure, as you could imagine it wasn’t my best hour of clarity. I said hello, I introduced him to his granddaughter.

that was 3 1/2 years ago.

his WIFE has sent clothes at Christmas, and he has disregarded any chance to Skype or make a regular method of communication. his father died a while ago and it gave him the opportunity to come to England.

he has been here for almost a week.

he is roughly an hour away by car with toes uncle, of whom we are close.

and yet I haven’t seen/herd from him once, he intends (uncle told me) to see us for a “flying visit” Saturday morning. before he whisks himself off on a plane back to the states for another few years.

I am seeing pictures of him lounging on a beach over here,

he has not seen or spoken to his only granddaughter in 3 1/2 years, and he would spend this week socialising with friends? and give her maybe an hour of his time. what am I meant to say to her?

im not even sure its worth seeing him, she has no clue who he is and probably will forget by the next time (if ever) she see’s him again. I guess im just disappointed in people. I was shocked enough to loose contact with her dads friends, I never believed his family would be the same.

one day I will have to sit my little girl down and explain what happened, and then I will have to tell her his father could only spare her 1 hour in the whole of her childhood.

ill go Saturday, through gritted teeth, and from a sense of duty to the man I once loved.

but I wont hold any punches, he would want me to be me, big mouth and all

i’ll lose sleep tonight

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