im going to start with an disclaimer:
I like charity, and charity workers, and all aspects of helping people/making cures/researching etc
you guys do a bang up job, don’t stop believing, keep up the good work, break a leg, and so forth and so on.
today, I was casually giggling with Toes about BigDaddy having a smelly bum in the kitchen (as you do) when someone knocked on my front door. in a happy go lucky sort of way one bounced towards the door, to be confronted by 2 rather large men in full clobber.
have I forgotten to pay something for a while?
did somebody get hurt?
did I hire a hitman when I was that pissed off last week?
nope…phew…its charity workers.
well hello to you also, I smiled. they made a wonderful effort and seam happy chaps. what could you want from me? £2 a week for?…children in Africa? children in Somalia? children in the uk? cancer research?
no. the first thing these lovely men said (bar hello:) ) was.
“we are from *a charity* doing research into stillbirth and miscarriage, we need your money to help figure out why these things are happening and to help those who it happens too”
my heart sank to my chest
“we understand for lots of people this is a sensitive subject but you seam “cool” (yes…that’s EXACTLY what he said)” so we know we can count on your support yeah? just like your neighbours”
I froze momentarily…
and I told them
“im sorry, I cant, right now I really just need to close this door, goodnight” and with that I did.
I went to read a a book with FACE and the more I thought about it the more upset I got.
its such a massively sensitive subject, I don’t think its something that anyone (especially somebody who has had these experiences) should have to be confronted with, un expected when opening their front door. I mean WHAM! think about the loss of your child, right now…and now give us money.
I think I was thrown back by the way they spoke to me as if I wasn’t one of those people who found the subject matter “sensitive” I think they lack the empathy because they are men, and they are men who clearly hadn’t been through these experiences. sexist? no. I just know that I, and other women would prefer to discuss the death of a child with a woman who could empathise. no a man who refers to me as “cool” about the subject of infant loss…..errr….
the more I have thought about it the more upset I am, no angered I am.
my good day was completely turned upsidown by a very insensitive charity worker.
I have no doubt he is good at his job, but in matters of stillbirth and miscarriage, he has a very long way to go to even broach the subject with some class and integrity.
actually, I don’t think that can be done door to door, print out 1,000 more leaflets, hold support groups in local areas, upgrade your internet publicity, but don’t knock on a door to a house where you don’t know the family situation and force them to confront a difficult situation head on with total strangers without warning. I just don’t think its tacktfull or nessicary.
closing that door was the best thing I could have done for MYSELF at that moment.
and id do it again.