put that DOWN!



stop eating that

cardboard is not food

that will kill your teeth.

you just ate 10 quid…

fine whatever eat the doorframe, it needed sanding anyway







these are just some of the sentences ive herd come out of my mouth these past few months.
this week however face has upped his game.
there is not a square inch of his room that has not been nibbled, not a toy missing feet, or a box/book/dvd case missing a page.
ALL of my time is spent stopping him choking on or ingesting inanimate objects.
and yet give that boy a bit of FOOD and he will have the mother of all meltdowns.
what the fuck is up with that.
im not that bad a cook.
im certainly better than the oxford dictionary that’s for damn sure.

preventing shit from passing your lips is becoming a full time job in itself.
and im about 3 more toilet tubes away from just asking.

“do you want ketchup with that dear?”



One thought on “put that DOWN!

  1. Love this post. Laughter is the best way to get thru it. The crazy comments.. Awesome. That’s what ur kids will remember. Trust me.. Mine nail me on all the crazy nutso thing I do and say. Great stories. xxx

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