My week, pork, bioshock, and jumping in circles.

The end of another week!
And so comes my end of week summary.

Friday held the beginning of the school holidays, or as they are known in my house
The half-an hour if your lucky -term.

It started nicely!


As in it’s been 2 days and I still live here!
I can’t guarantee the week will continue ok because sir face is in one of those moods, you know the one, where NTparents say their kids are being too loud and you laugh until you give yourself a hernia because you haven’t Hurd yourself think in a good few years now!

However toes is keeping busy!
Getting the brunt of it as usual poor child, if only she want so annoying  😉


I’ve had the in laws for Easter lunch, which consisted of starting cooking at 2am finishing at 2pm and it all being gone within a few minutes, some what dampened by father in law not liking garlic which I put in everything.
I forgot to mention they were in the potatoes  😉

my highlight of this week, while trying to pretend I’m not a grown up is the release of this..


Phone boxes!!!!!!

I jest I jest,
Bioshock infinite!!
We (the royal we) have been excited about this game since the last one.
So this week IM mostly putting on my gamer hat, joining BigDaddy on the sofa, and levitating giant mechanical big handed men into the air.

Because children
That’s how I roll!



And relax.

I’m having a coffee (decaf) and slice by myself, out of the house, with no children.

I thought the world should know

I want to frame this moment.


Half Days & Half Wits

Who the hell thought half days were a good idea.

which prick went, its the last day of term, I know lets cut it in half, making the parents fulfil the whole morning routine but with the added bonus of getting the children back half way through the day!
thus making everything you do redundant!

not to mention the dick that thought this was appropriate in special needs school.


I mean honestly! if that wasn’t a 3 o’clock in the morning decision I have no idea what was.
it has no good reasons for being there.
no parent/child/staff member is getting anything from your fucking half day. why don’t you pool 2 together and give them a whole day off ey?

I mean come on! its good Friday tomorrow, no kids are at school, was this really necessary??
did you REALLY have to interrupt my sons routine, to hoick him out of school and home, only I might add, to make me deal with your stupidity with meltdowns all day because you just FUCKED HIS DAY UP!
also the children who commute to a school….dad I suggest you wait in the car park, grab a few zzzz’s

in summery

half days were produced by half wits.
half the effort
half the reward
half the time
double the disruption.



Take one cup of tea, 2 digestives and call me in the morning.



where the word NO actually means NO!

and children are in bed and asleep by 8.

where jelly tots is an acceptable substitute for breakfast

as is whipped cream for dinner.

where reruns of recess go all night.

and socks don’t need to match

when school uniform doesn’t need to be clean,

and nobody has we’d on the toilet seat.

where my twitter friends live just up the road

and that obnoxious, ugly annoying chav doesn’t.

where my waste of space father doesn’t try and contact me.

but my best friend actually does.

when I don’t feel like crap when I wake up,

because I’ve actually got some sleep.

where all meals are made themselves!

as are the beds.

where my library consists of more than school reports,

and I don’t have to close my eyes and count to 10.

maybe ill be like Face,

and poo in my bed and roll in It without judgement!

or like Toes

and demand perfection from inanimate objects.

or like Fry

and sleep and poop and cry.

maybe ill have one day

where toys cats can do parenting for me.

an nobody….not anyone…not once…talks louder than a whisper.

maybe tomorrow?



Ignorant Parenting.

This rant was sparked a few days ago.

I was happily scrolling along  my Facebook page, minding my own business when a ridiculously cute baby appeared on my screen! the niece of one of my friends, no more than 3months old, squidgy beautiful little girl.


this happened to be a video, and she happened to be completely naked.

I DO NOT have this person on Facebook, it appeared because we have a friend in common.

in this day and age where our uttermost personal thoughts are made free to the whole world (hello blog)

what makes a mother think its acceptable to post a naked video of their child on a social networking site.

even if you were ignorant to believe none of the people you know could possibly be a danger to your child, surely you have to be aware of the fact that the internet is arguably the least secure thing in your life.

it Is illegal to distribute and view naked pictures of children for a vey good reason, and it should be equally as illegal for naïve parents to put their children at risk!


would you strip your child and parade them around in public?


then why on earth would you do it for the entire world to see?


make it illegal for parents to upload these pictures.

because its the child’s right not to be put at risk.




Boys Will Be Boys?

Todays post is brought to you by the letter A.



my old foe


When does your child cross the line from meltdown to tantrum. when is there an underlying cause and when are they just being touchy?

Are you one of those parents who believes its always Autism rearing its ugly head and will not admit that sometimes, they are just being children and pushing their luck pays a big part in that.

because if you are then do you not see your child as anything but that label?

that’s a bit mean.


if we can accept (which i  can) that, sometimes they are just being a pain, then how does discipline come into It?

is It morally acceptable to give an Autistic child some sensory intervention when he’s told no to something and has a break down, but punish their sibling for behaving the same way in the same situation?.

should they have chocolate/sweets because they have starved themselves for a day and you need nutrients in them, but refuse pudding to a child who couldn’t finish dinner that same day.

I ask myself these question every day.

I try to deduce which times Autism is to blame and which times I should bring out the MOMMY voice

I would estimate i get it wrong maybe 50% of the time.

but I try.

I try to accept that his difficulties do not make up everything that he is, and treat him accordingly.

because he’s loving, and funny, and gorgeous and intelligent,

and sometimes he’s a pain in the arse.


❤ Face ❤





Did I Really Just Say That

I am NOT in any way fattist.     I spent until a year ago always a size 8 and am now embracing being a healthy size 12 and eating that extra slice of desert 🙂

Toes teacher is a generally nice, polite person.


However , I think a god example should be set if we expect our children to follow it.

the people at Toes’ school clearly have differing opinions to me.

At school, they are weighed to make sure everyone is a healthy weight and partaking in a good lifestyle.

children who do not pass said test because they are overweight a referred to dietitions.

because It is important for the kids to have the best start in life and learn to make lifestyle choices that will encourage good eating habit’s.

Toes’ Teacher is GROSSLY overweight! I mean actually overweight, not a size 14-18, clinically obese. I find it hard to believe that her weight gives her the best chances of dealing with 25 energetic nursery children. are they maybe missing out because of it?

can you all say hypocrite?



what is wrong with people when obese teachers are judging chubby children? my cousin 9, falls into the young and overweight category. she is dieting and attending a weight loss camp this summer.

when she returns to school next year she will still be taught by someone who is….fat. there’s no nice way of saying that.


If you expect out children to change, you first need too.

lead by example


Put the pie down.